Since our call for support around our possible May Day action, we have received many positive comments from the tumblr-verse, comments which touch us deeply and we are so appreciative of. Those below are a sample of what folks have been saying. Thank you to all of you who said and published…
“Whether it’s letters to the school newspaper, local media coverage, or debates between student organizations, Sex Week gets people talking. In fact, it’s not just about the week itself, since the discussions continue throughout the school year. Students have written to me nine months later and said “your talk at Sex Week changed everything.” In those cases, it’s clear that Sex Week is just the beginning of fostering more discussion and community around sexuality issues. Sex Week plants the seeds, opens the lines of communication, and ultimately makes for a richer, fuller college experience.”—Tristan Taormino on Why Sex Week Matters (via cleispress)
Folks often ask me “how do I become you?” Well, I created my Sex Educator Boot Camps specifically so you can become your own sex ed rockstar! Here’s what other folks have said.
"Tristan’s Boot Camp was undoubtedly the most important investment I’ve made in my professional life." -queeraschinocherry
"Engaging, inspiring, and at times, hilarious…I highly recommend them."- @pennysdirtythoughts
"Tristan’s Sex Educator Boot Camp is essential for anyone even thinking about getting into the field."- theladycheeky
There are still slots available and if you pre-register for both the beginner and the intermediate, you’ll also get a free 30-minute coaching call with me after the conference ($100 value)! E-mail a copy of your registration to firstname.lastname@example.org.
See you at CatalystCon next weekend!! I’m excited to spend three days with so many brilliant sex educators and industry professionals.
I figure most of you following me already know this, but a basic sex ed tip for those who don’t: “vagina” only refers to the hole and what’s inside it! The external genitals overall (including the clitoris, labia, etc.) are called the “vulva.”
I do porn because I love it and I feel like its a way I can express myself that i cannot throughout any other medium. In porn you can’t hide anything its pushes all your emotions, strengths and weaknesses for all to see. Before porn I was a bassist in a few hardcore bands in a diy scene and was making a living being a diy concert promoter. The idea of scrapping money together to get to gigs, staying on people’s floors and being lucky to break even was the life of being in a punk scene and something we all loved doing. I did not think coming into the porn world some of the same realities existed. I like most people assumed porn was made up of people making thousands upon thousands of dollars per shoot and a majority of the performers never having to worry about money in anyway. Whenever anyone talks about porn performers and their lives it often comes up with this glamorous life of doing shoots with gorgeous performers and living in a large mcmansion overlooking the ocean.
I want to lay this out in a very honest way with simple math. The cost of an average 1 bedroom in San Francisco is roughly $2,600 not including all other living costs on top of that. Lets say your trying to make a living alone as a porn performer. Being a male performer you make around $300 per shoot (unless you’re James Deen). With that rate per shoot you would need to do at least 9 shoots per month to simply pay rent for one month. Just to pay rent for an entire year you would have to do 108 shoots a year and have a part time job just to stay afloat in San Francisco as a male performer.
Being a trans woman performer the pay rate is much higher than what male performers make. On an average mainstream hardcore (sex scene) you make $800, an mainstream solo scene pays roughly $500 and an queer porn shoot will pay around $300. Being a trans performer if you’re booking one of each during a month’s time you are doing extremely well. Even with one of each you are only at $1,600. Cis woman rates aren’t much higher unless your shooting with an extremely large company like kink.com who pay models up to $1,500.
With this being the current state of porn most porn performers have some sort of day job rather than being other forms of sex work (escorting, webcam, stripping, ect.) or vanilla day job (the person making your sandwich at subway could be a porn star). Porn for most of us is our passions and the idea of doing porn for the money seems to me to be very outdated (very real in the 90s). I am writing this not to complain about not making millions of dollars but to really try to push fans of performers to actually buy their content instead of watching it on tube sites or illegally downloading. When your favorite performers do cam shows please tip some amount no matter how little and tell them how you enjoy their work. Really if you enjoy our work and want to see more of it please please please buy our content.
College is a prime time for sexual exploration. Away from home, students experience newfound independence and freedom, their sexual curiosity is high, and they have access to social situations that can scratch those itches. We know they are exploring their own sexuality and sex with other people, so why not give them tools, strategies, skills, and information about how to do it?
- Tristan Taormino quoted in Nerve.com, “The University of Tennessee’s Sex Week Will Go on Despite Major Controversy”
Next week, I’m headed south to be a part of The 2nd Annual Sex Week at the University of Tennessee-Knoxville despite the fact that state lawmakers have put their opposition of the entire event on the record. On Monday, February 24, 2014, the Tennessee General Assembly will vote on—and, because of its strong support, very likely pass—a resolution that “condemns the organizers of…
My girlfriend just isn’t turned on by sex toys because she feels like it is not me pleasuring her, but the toy. Her disinterest has come to the point where she doesn’t even want to try them. She came close to trying a small vibrator one time, but when I went to buy it, she changed her mind and didn’t want it. My fantasy is to not only use toys on her, but for her to use them on me as well. Is there anything that could help her see that it would be me pleasuring her, not just some inanimate object?
What is the greatest danger sex workers face? Or what is the most important thing sex workers need? Or are those the wrong questions?
They’re impossible questions to answer because people’s needs are diverse and people’s experiences are diverse. So I think that’s the first place to start. There is no one solution, there is no one project, there is no one political point of view that can possibly speak to every single person who has experience in the sex trade.
Multitasking by trying to get rid of books before I move in April and hoping to reach some new readers who might like either anal sex and/or erotic romance. Here’s the deal: You must have an Amazon.com account you’ve made a purchase from (their requirement). If you do and are interested, I will…
“First, I have to say: simply do it. Pick up a pen and write the words. You don’t have to be fancy. If you write down what turns you on—even as a bulleted list—your partner should be delighted. My main skill is that I’m not afraid to put words on a page. Once you put the words down, you can tweak them, twist them, tie them up. But you can do nothing with a blank page. So—put the words down.”—Alison Tyler, on how to write erotica (via cleispress)
Hi, friend! This is where you can pay what you can (yes, even $0) to download your very own copy of the GENDER book. That’s right, because this information is so priceless, we’re giving it away.We know not everyone is in a place to spend money on a book right now. That’s why we’re leaving it up to you- with a suggested donation of $15, but no one turned away for lack of funds. We made this book for you.
If you have it in your heart to give more, please do. Remember, 50% of our proceeds go to a book scholarship fund for schools, churches, and individuals in need. The other half goes back into the project, paying our hosting bills, helping with print costs, and compensating the artists who donated 4 years of hard work to make this book a reality. By giving, you enable us to keep on working for you to make educational materials available to all for no cost.
Emotions surrounding abortion vary greatly. Regret, relief, sadness, confusion, anger, hurt - even happiness. The list could go on and on, but the most important thing to remember is that every single one is valid. Maybe you feel one at a time. Maybe you feel…
Hey New York City! Need a free event for Valentine’s Day that will actually bring you closer to your partner(s)? Mark A Michaels and Patricia Johnson are throwing a launch party for their brand new book, Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy and Long-term Love at Bluestockings in NYC.
When: February 14, 7pm Where: Bluestockings, 172 Allen Street, NYC Cost: FREE Open to: Everyone! Welcoming of all genders, sexualities, and relationships
A recent survey by retailmenot.com found that most men (66 percent) want one thing and one thing only for Valentine’s Day: Sex. (Shocking, right?) As for women, well, 77 percent want their partners to spend hard-earned money…
Producer, performer, and director Courtney Trouble will be presenting an academic screening of the 2013 film “Trans Grrrls: Revolution Porn Style Now!” alongside “Queer Porn Behind the Scenes: Finding Gender Through Porn Performance” at the University of Calgary on Feb. 11.
"The study, which was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in May, surveyed 902 people who practice BDSM and 434 people who prefer so-called "vanilla" (non-kinky) sex. Each person filled out questionnaires regarding their personalities, general well-being, sensitivity to rejection and style of attachment in relationships. The participants were not aware of the purpose of the study.
Despite past assumptions that BDSM proclivities might be correlated with previous abuse, rape or mental disorders (research has shown that they’re not), this survey found that kinky people actually scored better on many indicators of mental health than those who didn’t practice BDSM, reported LiveScience. According to Reuters, BDSM-friendly participants were found to be less neurotic, more open, more aware of and sensitive to rejection, more secure in their relationships and have better overall well-being.”
Imagine that, not everyone with a kink or two is an abuser or rapist or a victim of abuse.
Certainly interesting. People in the comments are pointing out that correlation doesn’t equal causation, and I agree that it’s healthy to be skeptical of results like this. I’m also think people are a little too quick to call kink shaming whenever someone asks a valid question. But I’m in the minority on that one.
What do you guys think? Any BDSM fans who want to defend the study?
My girlfriend knows that anal sex has been a long time fantasy of mine, and recently she decided to try it. We were in the shower fooling around, then we had vaginal sex. She suggested I put it in and, of course, I gladly obliged. I gently placed my dick at the entrance of her sexy asshole, and she pulled her ass cheeks apart for me. I slowly tried to push my dick in her ass, but it was like pushing my dick against a wall. I was just not going anywhere….