The time for Porn Studiesis now. All types of porn are getting more accessible, and partly getting better, and conversations about sex and sexuality and what goes in front of our eyeballs when our hands are down our pants and what that might or might…
The show is live tonight at 8 pm ET / 5 pm PT, you can call in live and talk to me, ask me ANYTHING related to sex and relationships - 1-866-472-5788 - but if you prefer anonymity, use my Ask Tristan box here on tumblr and I’ll read questions on the air that way too.
CatalystCon is like the TEDx of Sex. For queer folks it’s like their Michfest or how it should be. Academics, writers, bloggers, educators, performers, industry professionals, and others come together for a weekend of potent concentrated mashup and I thought I knew everything and couldn’t be challenged any further but…
This Friday at 8 pm ET / 5 pm PT, mark your calendars so you won’t miss this live show with me and Susie Bright together in the same studio. It will be so much fun, plus you can call in and talk to us BOTH! At the same time! It’s your sexual politics fantasy threesome come true.
What's your standpoint on parabens in lube? The lubricants I've tried so far that are paraben- and glycerine- free have triggered some unpleasant reactions on my skin, perhaps due to the citric acid (WHY IS THAT EVEN IN LUBRICANT?? D: ). I tried the Sliquid Sassy kind, and it left me burning. So far the only lube that has truly satisfied has been the water-based Slippery Stuff gel, but it unfortunately has parabens. :( Do you have any suggestions for very sensitive lube-users like me?
Great questions. We sell some types of water based lube with parabens, and many that are paraben free. We know that many customers try to avoid parabens because of research which has linked them to higher incidences of breast cancer. Any time someone has questions related to the chemical complexities of lube, we refer them to experts like the EWG. Their cosmetic database is awesomely informative. We haven’t banned parabens in our store but we like to have lots of options on hand for folks who are trying to avoid them in all their personal care products.
Citric acid is in tons of lubricants - it seems weird, right? It’s used as a preservative. Some people say it’s good for vaginal lube because it maintains a healthy acidic pH, but it could also potentially be an irritant for you. It’s hard to figure out without more data.
Lots of different customers have mentioned to us that different , seemingly mild water-based lubes cause stinging or burning sensations on contact. We’ve got a couple of theories about this. It could be the acidic pH of citric acid, or perhaps a mild allergy to potassium sorbate (another common preservative). It might also be a sensitivity to one of the plant-based ingredients in the lube.
You could try silicone lube. Another option would be Yes oil based lube, which isn’t compatible with stretchy safer sex barriers but is otherwise completely awesome. We sell Yes in our store, and you can learn more about it on their website.
As far as other water based options go, we recommend sticking with lubes that have relatively short lists of ingredients. That way if something does irritate your skin, it’s easier to narrow down the variables and hopefully figure out what did it. Yes water based lube, Aloe Cadabra and Good Clean Love might be good options. Ride H20 also has a really short list of ingredients. If you’re feeling adventurous, you could try patch-testing small amounts of these lubes to see if any of them do what they’re supposed to do - aka contribute to pleasure and not pain!
Good luck, and thanks for the question. Give us a call at our store if you’ve got more questions about specific products. (612)721-6088
"I’ve had students and community members protest my college appearances before, so I was ready for whatever push-back might come my way. I wasn’t prepared for what I discovered: a sexual culture so steeped in shame and stigma that students are afraid to be seen at Sex Week events…."
Read more about my visit to Sex Week at UT-Knoxville sexweekutblog.
Since our call for support around our possible May Day action, we have received many positive comments from the tumblr-verse, comments which touch us deeply and we are so appreciative of. Those below are a sample of what folks have been saying. Thank you to all of you who said and published…
“Whether it’s letters to the school newspaper, local media coverage, or debates between student organizations, Sex Week gets people talking. In fact, it’s not just about the week itself, since the discussions continue throughout the school year. Students have written to me nine months later and said “your talk at Sex Week changed everything.” In those cases, it’s clear that Sex Week is just the beginning of fostering more discussion and community around sexuality issues. Sex Week plants the seeds, opens the lines of communication, and ultimately makes for a richer, fuller college experience.”—Tristan Taormino on Why Sex Week Matters (via cleispress)
Folks often ask me “how do I become you?” Well, I created my Sex Educator Boot Camps specifically so you can become your own sex ed rockstar! Here’s what other folks have said.
"Tristan’s Boot Camp was undoubtedly the most important investment I’ve made in my professional life." -queeraschinocherry
"Engaging, inspiring, and at times, hilarious…I highly recommend them."- @pennysdirtythoughts
"Tristan’s Sex Educator Boot Camp is essential for anyone even thinking about getting into the field."- theladycheeky
There are still slots available and if you pre-register for both the beginner and the intermediate, you’ll also get a free 30-minute coaching call with me after the conference ($100 value)! E-mail a copy of your registration to firstname.lastname@example.org.
See you at CatalystCon next weekend!! I’m excited to spend three days with so many brilliant sex educators and industry professionals.
I figure most of you following me already know this, but a basic sex ed tip for those who don’t: “vagina” only refers to the hole and what’s inside it! The external genitals overall (including the clitoris, labia, etc.) are called the “vulva.”
I do porn because I love it and I feel like its a way I can express myself that i cannot throughout any other medium. In porn you can’t hide anything its pushes all your emotions, strengths and weaknesses for all to see. Before porn I was a bassist in a few hardcore bands in a diy scene and was making a living being a diy concert promoter. The idea of scrapping money together to get to gigs, staying on people’s floors and being lucky to break even was the life of being in a punk scene and something we all loved doing. I did not think coming into the porn world some of the same realities existed. I like most people assumed porn was made up of people making thousands upon thousands of dollars per shoot and a majority of the performers never having to worry about money in anyway. Whenever anyone talks about porn performers and their lives it often comes up with this glamorous life of doing shoots with gorgeous performers and living in a large mcmansion overlooking the ocean.
I want to lay this out in a very honest way with simple math. The cost of an average 1 bedroom in San Francisco is roughly $2,600 not including all other living costs on top of that. Lets say your trying to make a living alone as a porn performer. Being a male performer you make around $300 per shoot (unless you’re James Deen). With that rate per shoot you would need to do at least 9 shoots per month to simply pay rent for one month. Just to pay rent for an entire year you would have to do 108 shoots a year and have a part time job just to stay afloat in San Francisco as a male performer.
Being a trans woman performer the pay rate is much higher than what male performers make. On an average mainstream hardcore (sex scene) you make $800, an mainstream solo scene pays roughly $500 and an queer porn shoot will pay around $300. Being a trans performer if you’re booking one of each during a month’s time you are doing extremely well. Even with one of each you are only at $1,600. Cis woman rates aren’t much higher unless your shooting with an extremely large company like kink.com who pay models up to $1,500.
With this being the current state of porn most porn performers have some sort of day job rather than being other forms of sex work (escorting, webcam, stripping, ect.) or vanilla day job (the person making your sandwich at subway could be a porn star). Porn for most of us is our passions and the idea of doing porn for the money seems to me to be very outdated (very real in the 90s). I am writing this not to complain about not making millions of dollars but to really try to push fans of performers to actually buy their content instead of watching it on tube sites or illegally downloading. When your favorite performers do cam shows please tip some amount no matter how little and tell them how you enjoy their work. Really if you enjoy our work and want to see more of it please please please buy our content.
College is a prime time for sexual exploration. Away from home, students experience newfound independence and freedom, their sexual curiosity is high, and they have access to social situations that can scratch those itches. We know they are exploring their own sexuality and sex with other people, so why not give them tools, strategies, skills, and information about how to do it?
- Tristan Taormino quoted in Nerve.com, “The University of Tennessee’s Sex Week Will Go on Despite Major Controversy”
Next week, I’m headed south to be a part of The 2nd Annual Sex Week at the University of Tennessee-Knoxville despite the fact that state lawmakers have put their opposition of the entire event on the record. On Monday, February 24, 2014, the Tennessee General Assembly will vote on—and, because of its strong support, very likely pass—a resolution that “condemns the organizers of…
My girlfriend just isn’t turned on by sex toys because she feels like it is not me pleasuring her, but the toy. Her disinterest has come to the point where she doesn’t even want to try them. She came close to trying a small vibrator one time, but when I went to buy it, she changed her mind and didn’t want it. My fantasy is to not only use toys on her, but for her to use them on me as well. Is there anything that could help her see that it would be me pleasuring her, not just some inanimate object?
What is the greatest danger sex workers face? Or what is the most important thing sex workers need? Or are those the wrong questions?
They’re impossible questions to answer because people’s needs are diverse and people’s experiences are diverse. So I think that’s the first place to start. There is no one solution, there is no one project, there is no one political point of view that can possibly speak to every single person who has experience in the sex trade.
Multitasking by trying to get rid of books before I move in April and hoping to reach some new readers who might like either anal sex and/or erotic romance. Here’s the deal: You must have an Amazon.com account you’ve made a purchase from (their requirement). If you do and are interested, I will…
“First, I have to say: simply do it. Pick up a pen and write the words. You don’t have to be fancy. If you write down what turns you on—even as a bulleted list—your partner should be delighted. My main skill is that I’m not afraid to put words on a page. Once you put the words down, you can tweak them, twist them, tie them up. But you can do nothing with a blank page. So—put the words down.”—Alison Tyler, on how to write erotica (via cleispress)